Nothing Makes the President Sound More Like a Third Grader Than Discussing the Physical Attributes of a Wall. This WSJ Interview Proves It.

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That’s not a wall. This is a wall.
Mark Wilson/Getty Images

Donald Trump gave an interview to the Wall Street Journal Thursday. The four journalists asked normal enough questions. President Trump’s answers, however, are far from normal. Here’s a selection of things that the president of the United States actually said out loud, which look way way worse written down.

Donald Trump, big wedge guy.

WSJ: You think North Korea is trying to drive a wedge between the two countries, between you and President Moon?

Mr. Trump: I’ll let you know in—within the next 12 months, OK, Mike?

WSJ: Sure.

Mr. Trump: I will let you know. But if I were them I would try. But the difference is I’m president; other people aren’t. And I know more about wedges than any human being that’s ever lived, but I’ll let you know.

Excuse me, did I overhear you say something about a wall? I’ll show you a wall.

TRUMP: The other thing … so the wall. The wall’s never meant to be 2100 miles long. We have mountains that are far better than a wall, we have violent rivers that nobody goes near, we have areas …. But, you don’t need a wall where you have a natural barrier that’s far greater than any wall you could build, OK? Because somebody said oh, he’s going to make the wall smaller. I’m not going to make it smaller the wall was always going to be a wall where we needed it. And there are some areas that are far greater than any wall we could build. So, maybe some day somebody could make that clear, Sarah, will you make that clear please?

I saw on television, Donald Trump is going to make the wall smaller; no, the wall’s identical. The other thing about the wall is we’ve spent a great deal of time with the Border Patrol and with the ICE agents and they know this stuff better than anybody, they’re unbelievable… I had meetings with them, they need see-through. So, we need a form of fence or window. I said why you need that – makes so much sense? They said because we have to see who’s on the other side.

If you have a wall this thick and it’s solid concrete from ground to 32 feet high which is a high wall, much higher than people planned. You go 32 feet up and you don’t know who’s over here. You’re here, you’ve got the wall and there’s some other people here.

WSJ: Yes.

TRUMP: If you don’t know who’s there, you’ve got a problem. 

[Scene]

Re: the aforementioned wall, which will be state of the art, “does this make sense or am I just wasting my time?”

TRUMP: This is going to be state of the art wall; this will be state of the art. But, I can fully understand why you’d have to have vision. I’d like to be able to see three or four hundred yards instead of we’re at a wall we have no idea who’s on the other side. Does this make sense or am I just wasting my time.

HOPE HICKS: It’s what you’ve always talked; it’s consistent with what you’ve always said.

TRUMP: No, this is the same. I hope I don’t read tomorrow, Trump is going to make the wall, I always said, we need a wall.

WSJ: Yes.

Totally. Different. Words.

WSJ: So when you say you have to have people, clearly there’s the 800,000 ‘Dreamers,’ but there’s also the larger group of people who are currently in the country…

TRUMP: That’s a different discussion.

WSJ: So, you said on Tuesday…

TRUMP: That’s comprehensive – well, if we could do that, that’s fine. I don’t know that that’s going to be possible.

There’s a lot of – there’s a lot of – there’s a big difference – first of all, there’s a big difference between DACA and Dreamers, OK?

Dreamers are different. And I want American kids to be Dreamers also, by the way. I want American kids to be Dreamers also.

But there’s a big difference between DACA and Dreamers. And a lot of times when I was with certain Democrats they kept using the word dreamer. I said, “Please, use the word DACA.” You know it’s a totally different word.

WSJ: Sure.

TRUMP: OK, people think they’re interchangeable, but they’re not.

A wall, except where there are vicious American rivers. Where there is no need for a wall because of the viciousness.

TRUMP: So – I – I think we have a very good chance of making a deal on DACA, I would like to be able to do it; I think that the people that are Trump supporters agree with me on it. I would never do it without a wall, the wall is the wall and it’s the same wall that we’re always talking about. It’s – you know, wherever we need, we don’t need it where you have mountains; you don’t need it where you have rivers and – you know, vicious rivers. 

Having people. Kind of a big deal.

TRUMP: Would you say that’s a correct statement, Gary, we have to have people.

GARY COHN: Yeah.

They hate me because I’m pretty

TRUMP: They dislike me, the liberal media dislikes me. I mean I watch people – I was always the best at what I did, I was the – I was, you know, I went to the – I went to the Wharton School of Finance, did well. I went out, I – I started in Brooklyn, in a Brooklyn office with my father, I became one of the most successful real estate developers, one of the most successful business people. I created maybe the greatest brand. I then go into, in addition to that, part time, like five percent a week, I open up a television show. As you know, the Apprentice on many evenings was the number one show on all of television, a tremendous success. It went on for 12 years, a tremendous success. They wanted to sign me for another three years and I said, no, I can’t do that.

But I’m also sporty

TRUMP: Just – and so – so I was successful, successful, successful. I was always the best athlete, people don’t know that. But I was successful at everything I ever did and then I run for president, first time – first time, not three times, not six times. I ran for President first time and lo and behold, I win. And then people say oh, is he a smart person? I’m smarter than all of them put together, but they can’t admit it. They had a bad year.

(Easily) Vanquishing schmoes

TRUMP: Don’t forget, I had vanquished 17 governors, senators plus a couple of very smart people, like Ben and Carly and others. I had vanquished them easily – easily. I won every debate based on the polls. You know, they do polls – seven or eight polls. Time Magazine – Time Magazine’s not a fan of mine.

Q: What do you think of the Russia probe? A: Have you seen my Electoral College?

WSJ: Do you think they’re close to ending the [Russia] probe?

TRUMP: I hope so. Hey, look, I got elected president. I won easily, 306 or 304, depending on your definition, to 223. I won a race that should never be won by a Republican because it’s so stacked in the Democrats’ favor. I mean, if you figure California, New York, and Illinois, you start off with losing that – you have to run the entire East Coast and every – and the entire Midwest. I won an election that should never be won, because the Electoral College is far harder to win than the popular vote. The popular vote, for me, would have been much easier. 

I know. Don’t say it. I’m thinking it too.

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